Dishin' Dirt

It seems time to weigh in on the spouses who stand by their man. The great material provided by the wives of Giuliani and Thompson is now in the dust bin of history.

There is no need for further discussion of the Bill and Hillary. That pairing looks to me like Blue Nun with Fatback and Black eyed peas.

Cindy McCain is a well born westerner, the daughter of the largest liquor distributor in Arizona. She has a pinched look and wears her hair in that timeless style of the Gibson girl: very long and rolled up in a bun. I have never understood that look. I have always thought that it was a bit too self-absorbed and involved endless hours in front of the mirror combing those languid locks for no one’s pleasure but your own and your bedtime partner. Then, up in a bun for public consumption. What we haven’t heard about, thus far, is Cindy McCain delight is illicit drugs. That will come out. She faked prescriptions for pain killers back in the 1990s. As soon as Rush (“Fat Ass”) Limbaugh learns that he will be on the McCain bandwagon.

Ann Romney looks to just stand by her man. She is in the background. I have never heard Cindy McCain or Ann Romney speak in public. Ann Romney has the classic 1960’s Breck girl look. In school in the late 1950s and early 1960s we all read a magazine called Senior Scholastic. We called it Senior Spastic. The back cover had a full page ad for Breck shampoo. We used to modify the word Breck so it spelled Prick. Prick Shampoo. We thought that was pretty funny. “What me worry?” Ann Romney, like the Breck girls, is nearly perfect. But they seem like cardboard cut outs.

Huck-a-Buck’s wife, Janet looks like a truck driver. She has bigger shoulders than her husband. She probably lifts. A gym rat. I haven’t heard her talk. I think she has a deep, voice. Either that, or a voice like Edith Bunker from All in the Family. A friend in New York who follows the Haute Couture scene and likes to sit front row during Fashion Week was sure that Janet Huck-a-Buck was wearing her dress backwards this last week. It had a deep vee in front. There was no hint of cleavage, just a large flat plane the size of Kansas.

Michelle Obama is a class act. She is very articulate and can clearly stand her ground on issues and points of view. She doesn’t over power her husband. She would make a magnificent First Lady. She is elegant, has great style and is a perfect counterpart to the wonderful patrician presence exuded by her husband.